Why coaching

 

Hey there, this is Cheryl, certified high performance coach International Keynote speaker and the best-selling author of The 24-Hour Woman: How high achieving stress women manage it all and still find happiness.

 

In this video I'd like to talk with you a little bit about certified high performance coaching. And specifically, why coaching can be the thing that transforms your life, and in a followup video, why certified high performance coaching is different than other coaching programs.

 

You and I both know that if you're watching a video like this, you're probably somebody who's got high ambitions in life, you've got a mission, a purpose, a goal or an aim, you want to do great things you want to experience a great quality of life. You want to be you know fully charged each day you want to you want to feel alive, you want to feel like you're creative, like you're connecting with our people, like you're contributing. You want to have that full range of of joy and vibrancy fulfillment that you deserve. And you also know like every other high achiever or high performer in the world, that there's days, it doesn't feel like that, that there's days that you feel sort of lost or confused. Other days is pretty unmotivated. Other days disappointed. Other days, completely uncertain, and other days, frustrated. And so the challenge that we all face as high performers and high achievers is, how do we get past that stuff.

 

Well, I'm here to share with you something. Again you already know that sometimes you get yourself past that. And other times you need some assistance. Other times, you know, we have to acknowledge that we've taken ourselves as far as we could possibly take ourselves you know where you're at in your life right now. You got out of your strength and your wits and your resilience and your ambitions and just your fire your will your your discipline, you went for it, and you've gotten to this level, but sometimes you get this level and stay there. And we plateau. And this level, you know in our finances. This level in our relationships. This level in our work world. Our giving world in our health. When it's this level. And we know in our heart, that we can go at this level.

 

No matter how good this one is or how above everyone else it might feel, or how low it might feel. We know that when this is up to you. This is really settling for us. This is really mediocrity for us. You know, when you know in your gut, there's something more in you there's more in the tank. There's more to achieve and give and serve and be and do and experience of life, but you're only here but you spent decades getting here. I mean you worked hard you're smart you're successful you broke through, but you're still here. And you know in there in your heart, there's something up here. that's when you start working with the coach.

 

That's when you realize that you know there's a big difference between reading a book and taking an online course and having somebody lift you up. Having somebody who is there with you, step by step, having somebody who has the perspective. And frankly, the skills to rattle you out of that place that you can be that can feel like a cage, or can feel like a trap, or can feel like, just not enough. Because there's so many great things in our life that we could have if we had somebody help guide us there. Right, it's the same thing. I mean look if you're going to go on a new hike in life, you're gonna go hiking up in the mountains or wander into the woods, you are not going to go by myself. I want a guide, who understands the terrain, but I'm gonna tell you, coaching is a little different than a guide. It's different than a therapist. It's different than an expert super than a consultant. And that I think that's why a lot of people get confused about coaching, they're not sure why they know you need a coach they know there's this level and they know they need a coach but they're not sure exactly why.

 

Well, I've got the answers right here, this is actually from my coaching clients. I've been asking for years after we've done a few sessions I would say, why do you hire me. And I'm blessed to be one of the few high performance coach in the world. And so I've been able to work with, you know, C-suites of global firms, founders of startups and established firms, pro athletes,  major global celebrities and names and I love to ask them why do you hire me. You could hire anybody like what is it about coaching that engaged you at this point in your career and it almost always comes back to these four things I'd like to share them with you.

 

And I have to tell you how certified high performance coaching is so unique in accomplishing these things in the next video but first why coachingand you test this to see if it's true for you.

 

The first reason that people tell me that they hire a coach is for this Clarity. You know, they know that they knew they needed a new level of focus. They need a new level of understanding or of certainty or confidence in where they're going, like that sometimes you just don't know where you're at. Am I doing good. Am I not, sometimes you don't know why you do the things you do. Why is it Wednesday, you know, at 2pm, when you're supposed to be working on that presentation, you find yourself kind of like sitting at the chair or sitting on your couch with a bag of chips. You're like, what happened to my day, you're not sure why that happened, or sometimes, you know you get trapped up in old thinking, lead somebody to point out how you've been thinking about that specific thing. And now you get this, aha moment this this clarity moment where you understand what your day is about why you've been doing that, where you're trying to go. What's really important in your life. Sometimes it's an outside person asking us, intelligent, thoughtful provoking questions that make us find our Aha, because you know sometimes you wake up in the morning and you have that aha like oh my gosh I'm just, and you get that moment of clarity and all day you talk about it.

 

What if you could just operationalise that in your life, that sort of coaches, they're operationalising the number of aha moments you have. They're operationalising the number of breakthroughs you have, you're working with a person on a consistent basis, who 

lives, eats and breathes breakthrough to help you find that level of clarity where this is who I am. This is what I should be doing. That's not okay with me. This is what I want. Let's go this specific path forward. That's what coaching provides people. That’s why it's so powerful.

 

Here's the other one. Congruence.

Have you ever found that you know what your highest self is like, like when you're operating and firing on all cylinders. When you're in alignment with your values, when you're being your best self, you feel it and you're vibrant you're connected to it you feel a person of integrity, and other times you don't know what a coach does is they keep you couldn't grow. If you said last Monday, you were gonna do something, then the following Monday, they're gonna ask about. If you said you really value your kids, but in four sessions you haven't talked about your kids, they're gonna bring it up. If you say something is important to you, and you don't stick to it. They're a person who has your best interest in mind, with no judgment will let you know about it and do it in a caring way, but they'll keep your congruent, and that's so important, because it's very easy to be a high performing person. Sometimes it's very easy to be a goodwill good natured healthy person. Sometimes it's good to live our values, but not sometimes, always, you know we need someone to keep us more congruent in our lives and I know if you care about congruence as much as I do, then you'd seek other sources to keep it because you know what, your family and your friends. And if they're not or your co workers or your peers. They're not sufficient to keep you at your highest level in terms of congruence, they're not because either they like you or if they work for you though they're yes people,  yes yes yes, do that do that do that. Or just the frank reality of, sometimes they don't have your best interests in mind maybe you've got some negative people in your life who would they enjoys knocking you down, not lifting you up. And so, sometimes the coach is somebody who can call out things to you, and you don't feel threatened by it, because you know, they're just there to explore it with you to get you back on track. You already know they have positive intent for you, and matter of fact, they're compensated to get you back in that place. Most of your family, your friends, you know, they're not compensated to make you your best, most of them want you to stay, who they're comfortable with you being, they're not always comfortable seeing you rise to your highest, and I'm not judging your family friends because I don't know them specifically as I speak to you here, but I think you know the difference between people who are negative, and people who own positive intent for you and who are frankly compensated to take you to that next level to keep you more congruent with your best.

 

And the third reason people tell me they hire a coach is for Challenge. They need someone to cushion that next level challenge their limited thinking challenge the way they treat people challenge the way they get distracted, but also challenge them to rise into their highest level of keeping someone congruent with who they know they are with their current values with their current best self. There's a whole other game in challenging people to think big and challenge people to think better and challenging people to do better. And sometimes you need a third party to do that. I can't tell you how important this is. When I work with an athlete, it's very rare that I'm working with them at a level in which I'm coaching them on on their athletic performance right, most of what I do is all about success performance, about the mindset about how to think about things about how to sort of set up routines for them to succeed at the highest levels, and what I've learned that process is that these are people who are already good. And so, for them it is to challenge them to be better. So for example, let's say you're trying to learn something. Have you ever had someone challenge you to learn it faster. That's the value of having a coach, they're going to keep you on a timeline of growth. That is a little more accelerated than anyone else, because you know all your friends and everyone else around you again. That'd be like a good job is they see or try things once in a while, but to really accelerate. You need someone challenging you at an accelerated pace, so it makes sense to accelerate you need somebody challenging you at an accelerated pace. Otherwise, you'll do it when it's convenient for you. When it's easy for you. You'll prioritize ease over impact, and suddenly weeks go by months go by and that big goal that big dream you had got left by the wayside. Because no one challenged you to re-prioritize. No one challenged you to put it in the calendar. No one to challenge you. You need someone challenging you at an accelerated pace. Does that make sense?

 

To accelerate you need somebody challenging you at an accelerated pace. Otherwise, you'll do it when it's convenient for you. When it's easy for you to prioritize ease over impact, and suddenly weeks go by months go by and that big goal or that big dream you had got left by the wayside.

 

Because no one challenged you to reprioritize, no one challenged you to put it in the calendar. No one challenged you

to rise above the noise and distraction and negativity, to do it. And that is one reason why people get a coach as an outside party who will challenge them to the next level.

 

And the last idea Camaraderie. I love this one which is about Community.

 

No one wants to go at it alone in life. You know, it's like we think we do at certain parts of our lives, you know when we're teenagers maybe it's like I'll do, I’ll take on the road by myself. But then when you start trying to achieve real things like man I wish I had somebody I could talk through this with, you know, brainstorm with and, and sometimes that could be your team, but you're also you know your team. If you're trying to lead them and  you know it's like there's camaraderie there sure. But there’s also camaraderie of someone who you could share the private Zoom with the internal stuff with the complicated things, the doubts, the insecurities the frustrations that in the leadership level, so you can share those vulnerabilities with them too, but in a different way and I know you know what I'm talking about.

 

It's the same way it's like when you're trying so hard to achieve something without a professional to talk it through, and to brainstorm and to listen and to reflect at that level that gets more creativity from you.

 

Accomplishing things can feel pretty lonely.

 

Clarity, Challenge, Congruence and Community are are the four big reasons that clients tell me all the time that they chose to work with a coach. That is why my clients choose to work with me. 

 

In the next post, I will share more about certified high performance coaching and why that is what you want to be on. 

 

Best,

Cheryl

 

 

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